Monday, July 11, 2011
This is me... Then
I've been working on this blog entry for days now. Probably the most personal EVER. Now looking back on the previous entries about "changing" I must say I kinda had an idea but now its definitely clear. Many times we get lost between who we feel we SHOULD be and what we truly are. We try SO hard to mold into this person we have a perfect image. I realized when I wasn't so focused on "changing" and relaxed that's when I truly evolved. There are some things in life you simply can't change and that's that. Some character traits I can now admit; paranoid, anxious, unhappy, bitch, mood swings, depressed, selfish, weak, pessimistic, dramatic (well I still am hehe) but now more emphasis on funny dramatic. Not saying that I didn't have any "good" qualities but the fact that now I feel totally relaxed about any and everything is truly a blessing. A blessing because I worry alot not only about myself but about other people and it's so much weight when your carry five other people on your back. The saying you can't be happy for anybody else unless your happy is absolutely true. You stop looking at your friends as competition in a race and realize yall are in different lanes to different destinations. Not saying there's never gonna be a sad or down day. You start doing things because you truly love it not because your looking for something in return. Content with what has happened in the past. Not looking too forward in the future enjoying the day that your in. Happy with yourself for you. Adjusted from being lonely to alone. I am my own best friend.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I'm mad I'm just reading this! You know I of all people am extremely happy for the fact that you have come into your own and realized that you are who you are, flaws and all!
Simply playing devil's advocate, I wonder where the line between (a.)not giving a damn about molding yourself into the person that society wants you to be (b.) being content with the possibility of the negative aspects of yourself to keep you down/back/unhappy and (c.) being the person that God wants us to be, begins to overlap, blur and eventually dismiss itself. (Oh no! I brought the big "G" word into it! That's never good lol)
Yes Girl I know its hard to be like ok what for real and whats play play. And yes like I tell everybody else you gotta have a long talk with your creator a couple times before that light bulb comes on and everything makes sense.
Post a Comment